Earlier today a good friend allowed me to preview something he wrote (he's far wiser than I and his writing proves it fairly consistently. Although, to be fair, there are toddlers who are far wiser than I) and it started my gears turning.
In response, I sent him an email:
I find myself getting irrationally mad at people, lately.
I find myself doing this because people are still treating me like I should have a fainting couch or something.
First of all- I have never fainted, not once. Passed out cold from lack of sleep during a way-too-long layover in Heathrow Airport, yes. Fainted, no.
I have these moments when I just want to start yelling at people- that it doesn't matter than I'm sick- it's MY SICKNESS TO HEAL AND IT'S MY FIGHT TO WIN (or lose as it were)- that it doesn't matter that I was frail for a little while, EVERYONE IS FRAIL AT SOME POINT!
Again, probably not the response you were truly looking for, but a response nonetheless. I think your line about owning your scars brought it on. I love my scars. Each and every one of them, whether self induced (yep, got a couple of those) or from falling down stairs (more than a couple of those) or some other mischief. I love them because they make me feel strong and they remind me of all the grand trouble into which I have gotten myself. They are as important to me as my passport stamps.
Does that make any sense whatsoever?
xo,
K
And in the end, I stand by my email. I stand by it because Frustration, Loneliness, Fear, Irritation, and Clouded, Lousy Judgment are all a part of life. And they are beautiful parts of life which reveal the grandeur and depth of the human psyche. We are allowed to be frustrated, to feel lonely and scared, to find ourselves irritated- both at ourselves and at others.
It is the luxury of being spirited- having feeling. And we can, and we should, feel all good things and all bad things. And all things in between.
Until next time.
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