Some Demons Never Die

Even in Paradise, some demons never die.

Here I am, in the most beautiful place I've ever been, surrounded by outstandingly nourishing people who really seem to want to nourish me and help out, learning and new skill and teaching myself acceptance and having perfect PERFECT moments... and I still find myself comparing myself to everyone else.  Like a highschooler- those dark thoughts of 'why don't they like me?' trickle back in.  'Why don't they act that way around me?  Am I not funny enough?  Am I not esoteric enough?  Have I not done enough mind-altering drugs?  Do I not keep a clean enough diet?'

Isn't that funny?  I'm twenty seven years old and have WAY bigger fish to fry than popularity contests amongst burgeoning yogis but nevertheless, I am doubting.  I am comparing, contrasting, thinking actively negative things. I mean, it could just be the lack of sleep, but come ON.  I'm not a kid anymore.  This kind of stuff should go away...

And here's the fun part of the blog.  It totally never does.  I have always believed that high school is the best preparation for life.  It really does the trick.  Because all of life is high school.  No one ever really grows up, we just get more creative about torturing each other and ourselves endlessly and needlessly.  The popular girls will always be just so, the jocks will always do that thing, and me...

Well, I will continue to try.

I continue to try.

Until next time, dearhearts- Cheers.

And I promise photos soon.