Dear Peanut Industry

I'd like to thank you for all of your diligent and delicious work at keeping me out of the hospital.

I have been thinking about this for a while now.  You see, I am sick.  Not that my dear readers and dearest friends have not picked up on this fact.  No, I am quite confident in the intelligence of my readers.  I am sick with an eating disorder that has torn my psyche apart for a dozen long years.  The past few difficult months have seen me drop a solid 20 pounds off of an already petite (but muscular) frame- far and away the worst I have ever ever been.

Now that everyone finds themselves sufficiently frightened.... The point.

Thank you, peanut farmers, peanut growers, peanut industrialists, inventors, innovators, processors... peanut powerhouses like Jif, Skippy, MaraNatha, Crazy Richard, Teddy's...

You folks have unknowingly and unwittingly saved my life.  Peanut Butter.  Two simple words- Peanut. Butter.  The undeniable superfood.  The most perfect substance for they like me.  Perfectly calorically dense, perfect fats, even more perfect oils.  Super. Food.

So thank you, Peanut Butter.  Without you, I'd be a different...  person.

Cheers, Friends and fellow Peanut Enthusiasts.