A Singular Obsession

I recently discovered a band called Augustines.  And yes, yes I did discover them on a terrible series on Hulu.  And no, no I will not tell you which one.

Moving on- their album Augustines has been creeping over and over up on me.  I listened to it today, walking Henry and running.  This is the album of the summer I think: this is windows down, volume up, and let the Jeep fly album.

All the songs are delicious in their own muddled mixture of Springsteen-esque/U2-ish/BonIver-dom.

Weary Eyes is Longing.

Cruel City is Jump Around and Dance.

Nothing to Lose But Your Head… well, I already have a theme song.  But this one is pulling a close second.  For these lyrics:

Have you ever felt lonely?
Like your hollow heart's hanging in the wind?
Your black lungs can't breathe
Ya got nothing to lose but your head

(Um, yes.)

There are nights that I can't sleep
My mind feels like an
Empty parking lot for the unloved and lonesome ones
They sit at a table in my head, 
My head, you feel see through
Like everyone sees your heart
Is blown apart, that it's crippled
And cracked and had enough…

(Yes again.  Cracked and had enough… and sometimes every inch of me is that empty parking lot...)

Have you ever lost someone?
Screamed Holy Mary down the hall
Or cried against the steering wheel?
And hated every mirror you ever saw?

(Yes. Yes. Yes and Yes. YES).

Have you reached out in a cold cold night
Waved goodbye into headlights, or known you were wrong your whole life?
The day you felt true love, love…
You feel see through
Like everyone sees your heart
Is blown apart, that it's crippled
And cracked and had enough…

(Again with the YES.)

You can understand, maybe, why I would designate this a secondary theme song.  Every single word in this lyric set screams.. Hi Kate.

Hating mirrors, crying against steering wheels, struggling to fill a hollow heart?  I have done all of these things.

I have cried against steering wheels and then leaned my head back and continued to cry against the headrest in the Jeep.. in both of my Jeeps.  In my mom's Mustang and my old Mercedes.

I have threatened to break all of the mirrors in my world.  (If you search 'mirrors' in my blog- you'll get a sense of why I might not love them.)

I have had those conversations, on the dark nights of the soul, with the other lonely ones who inhabit my space.

And that heart- I have tried to cobble that cracked heart back together more times than I care to number.

I love this song.

Until we next meet…