You May Not Know my Father

... But you probably know Planet Earth.

What, you ask, do the two have in common? (Besides the obvious, that is?) Both my father and Earth share a special day. April 22! The day of my father's illustrious birth and Earth Day. Some background- on April 22, 1951, a beautiful baby boy was born to Robert and Gabrielle Seyfried; the third of four children and the only boy (which would in time cause some deep familial problems when Gabrielle's favoritism became abundantly apparent- as evidenced by sauerbraten vs creamy chicken at the dinner table). On April 22, 1970, when our hero celebrated his 19th birthday, Earth Day was created by United States Senator Gaylord Nelson (I would make the obligatory joke about his name, but it's probably a bit overplayed) as an environmental teach-in and a way of celebrating the natural world (rightly so, I might add). Each went on, in kind, to become something great. Earth Day eventually became International Mother Earth Day and my father became The Bob.

This year, today in fact, The Bob celebrates the big 6-0. And, as he has pointed out with great glee and on numerous occasions, I am nowhere in sight. That's right. I neglected to buy a States'-bound ticket which would get me home in time for mi padres birthday. Add to this the fact that one of his sisters (ahem) sent him not one, not two, but SIX birthday cards, and I seem a little absent... and a little like a terrible, neglectful daughter. And by a little I mean a lot.

So, factoring in the filial guilt trips, the 12000 miles between us, and my aunt (ahem again) and her six cards, I have adopted the Go Hard or Go Home approach to The Bob's birthday this year.

Bearing all of that in mind, I shall take this historic moment in time to announce my spearheading of a movement to rename Planet Earth... "Planet The Bob." That's right, daddy (I bet you didn't think about that when the email started eh? You probably thought you were in for another soap box rumination on pollution, saving the planet, and how Congress is one large collective moron for taking grey wolves off the endangered species list... But nay, that's not where this was going at all... muwhahah). For your birthday, I'm getting you a planet.. and not just any planet but the Big Cahouna of human-habitable planets. Shortly individuals around the world will find their inboxes peppered with a spam-like email asking for signatures to show their support in the greatest Name Coup to ever take place.

Beat that Aunt Nancy!


Haha, HAPPY BEARTHDAY DADDY!!! Much love, and sadness that I missed out on it, From China.

The Kate