That Kind of a Day.

At something like 10:00AM Central European Time, I had a text on my phone that said "Look at the News. There's been a bombing in Brussels."  At 10:14AM (or so), I had an email sitting in my inbox which said something similar to that.  My first response back was

"Oh shit."

To put this into some sort of temporal and geographical context, from Stavanger, Norway to Brussels, Belgium (as the crow flies) is something like 564 miles.  I've merrily driven more in a day.  Belgium is in the same time zone, it is on the same continent as my adopted home base.  That established, in two days I will fly to Amsterdam- also on the same continent and within the same time zone.  Amsterdam is, however, a lot closer to Brussels than Stavanger.  

I'm traveling soon to a place that is substantially closer to an act of terror than I currently am- within a tight timeline.  

So when the texts, emails, and random alerts came through, so did the reality check.  But not because I'm flying, or maybe not flying because of international air disruptions, or whatever.  But because of so many other small things.  Well, not all small.  My family is Belgian- I still have family living there and I myself have been there many times.  I have been through Brussels, my husband works for an organization that is headquartered there.  Brussels sort of seems like everyone's international backyard.  It is a place that I have a fondness for even though it's a little behind-the-scenes and a little run down.  Let me rephrase- it seems like everyone's slightly-less-than-savory Uncle's backyard. 

But today... today I scroll through Facebook, and there's little- if anything- posted about this bomb that was detonated in the Brussels' Zaventem Airport.  Or the one detonated in the Maelbeek subway station.  These bombs that killed dozens and injured hundreds.  Add to that the moment when some CNN talking-head referred to Brussels as a "rat's nest" of terrorism... and I'm a little more than a little distressed.  

And that's when I start to seethe.  Because in lieu of being able to physically help, I can anger for help- I can want for it with all the power in my insignificant being. 

Because everyone counts.  Everywhere counts.  

Someone I know brought up some statistic he saw today that ranked nations in terms of housing "known terrorists".  This was meant to be a rebuttal for my screaming tangent over the aforementioned "rat's nest" comment.  Apparently Belgium stood at the top... which I took (probably not what he was expecting) not necessarily  as a bad thing, but as an indication that Belgian authorities have apparently identified more terrorists living within their borders than some other nations.  I'm willing to bet that if all terrorists were "known terrorists", there would be a far more... umm...  (looking for the word, looking for the word, looking for the right word)... obvious distribution of top-ranking nations.  

Today has been that kind of a day.  The kind of a day that I have not had in a long time, not personally.  The kind of a day that flip-flops back and forth between anger, mistrust, disbelief, grief, and a different kind of anger.  It's been the kind of day when everything gets under my skin more than it should because everything counts. 

Every single thing counts. 

So for a heartbeat, hats off to Belgium.  Because they should be.