Les Pays Bas/ Hiatus.

This may not come as a surprise to some, given my waywardness and wandering mind, but sometimes I feel lost.

Sometimes I feel like I am floating outside of everything.  I could have used a better word there, a more poetic one, but I like the practicality and all-encompassing-ness of 'everything.'  I feel simultaneously cloistered and adrift.  Anchored, but not anchored to anything.

And yes, I recognize that this is only my fault.  I make the decision, have made the decisions, that lead me from Point A to Point B.  I am far too willful for it to not be my fault. 

But anyway, here's where I am today: stuck inside of my head, outside of everything else; disappointed, fretted, and ever-mindful of the future and my place in it.  I am acutely aware that my writing has been sub-par.  I suspect it is because of the mountain of chemistry and geology that I've climbing over the past six months, but some things are cyclical and sometimes I lose it, them.  Sometimes I lose my beloved words and have to wait it out.  

For me, forcing language is like arguing with a zealot.  It just doesn't turn out well for anyone.  

So I am going to stop for a little while.  Until it comes back, I am going on hiatus.  From this blog; from the empty, accusatory journals; from the pen and the (s)word.   I won't write until I'm ready to and I won't allow myself to feel bad for not writing.  I won't weep over words that I am losing because tears won't accomplish anything.  

And until next time.  

Stay tuned...