A Sort Of Two-Fer

The sort of twofer…

Thoughts on moving, Obsessions that help to quiet the thoughts on moving.

Tonight is my last night in New England for this season.  It is pissing down rain- and I am hauling boxes out of my apartment into my car, listening to my dog whine, yelp, and puppy-weep at the top of his puppy lungs.

And in the midst of all of this… I'm trying so hard not to think about what is actually happening.  Another move.  Another upheaval just as my little world settles down.  Another series of bags packed and then packed into the back of the Jeep- it's a good thing I'm something of a fiend for Tetris otherwise my life would never never never work.

I am trying hard not to think of all of the things I am leaving behind- again.  I am trying hard not to think of how this place, no matter how hard I try to resist, heals me every time.  Every single time I am sick to death with the world, with my world, I retreat to northern New England.  So that I can breathe; so that I can sit with the me that is not me or maybe me- but really the me that I am most unfamiliar with- the comfortable one.  (I am trying hard not to think of the grammatical issues with my previous sentence- some things can't be helped).

This album helps heaps.  I downloaded it today, on a whim.  Andrew Hozier-Byrne has nailed what I like the call 'The Suzannah.'  It's straight blues and sex and wonder.  Homeskillet is an Irishman who sings like he's been through it.  Considering it feels like I've been through it lately… (Listen to 'Sedated' and 'Work Song' back to back.  Brilliant, bold, the series of songs that you dance to- sometimes with yourself, sometimes with someone else- in the kitchen, barefoot).

This song helps for sure.  It erupts with poignancy, sadness, and just a tiny frail inch of resignation.  Open Hands, indeed.

I am, of course, using the trusty MacBook Pro Chooks to watch all manner of horrid television on Hulu.

I am thinking of my next tattoo, of what it will only ever mean to me.

I am thinking of tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Until Then-

Go on and drift away..